Reverend Sylvia Vera Stevenson’s funeral, Thursday 8 July 2015

Eulogy by her brother, John Benjamin Stevenson

Sylvia was many things: a Girl Guide camp leader, an accomplished musician and composer, an enthusiastic photographer and cinematographer, an inspirational teacher, and of course a dedicated Baptist minister.

But to me, she was my big sister – she certainly got a bit bigger (like most of us) as the years progressed. She looked after me most of my life, and I was honoured that in the last few years of her too-short life I could return the favour in some small way.

She officiated at many funerals including relatives such as my Uncle Ern and Uncle Frank. If she were officiating today she would be sympathetic and most likely inject some humour into this sad occasion. She might have told the story of the florist who mixed up the flowers. Someone who had just moved house received a bouquet with the words, “Deepest Sympathy”. On learning of his mistake, the florist exclaimed, “Good heavens, then the flowers that went to the funeral said, ‘Congratulations on your new home’”!

As a woman of faith, she would have found this rather appropriate. Also, she might have said, “What the caterpillar calls the end of the road, God calls a butterfly.”

To some people, my sister could appear a little severe, perhaps forbidding, and would sometimes speak her mind rather forcefully. But I hope that like me you saw someone who enjoyed life, and who was actually quite cuddly and full of fun. She said, “She was the world’s most impatient person.” but she was very patient, caring and understanding in difficult times such as these.

I was lucky (I think that’s the word) to grow up with two big sisters. One of my very earliest memories is of my sisters and their friends dressing me up in a small white tutu to turn me into a ballerina. They thought it was great fun. I still carry the scars of that experience!

We are a family of teasers. Sylvia enjoying telling how her friends who came to visit our house were often shocked at how rude we appeared to be to each other as we teased each other remorselessly. No-one was allowed to have any airs or graces. When Sylvia would become too imperious we would say, “What did your last servant die of?” or “You’re not the headmistress here!” She would laugh and show us her cheeky grin. She loved her family and we loved her.

Whilst talking of teasing and embarrassing people, this seems an appropriate moment to embarrass someone here today. Someone really special, someone really caring, and someone who stood faithfully by Sylvia for decades. I give very special thanks to Megan who helped and supported me enormously in caring for Sylvia over the last few years. I really do not know what I would have done without you. Thank you and God bless. I’m also grateful to all my family and friends who have supported me particularly when I get very grumpy.

Sylvia enjoyed playing games particularly with the family – although she was rather competitive and played a mean game of chess. I remember one Xmas playing a game with her and my children which involved a tower of wooden blocks. She inadvertently knocked over the tower and she attempted to deny responsibility. However, my children indignantly remonstrated with her until she relented – it helped to have the evidence on tape!

I remember when Sylvia was head of music at Chatham Grammar School for Girls. She would buy new instruments for her pupils. However, these instruments were kept in “quarantine” for a few weeks at our house, and this was an opportunity for us to learn to play them – and compete as to which of us could make the most progress in the short time available. In this way, I learnt the basics of playing many instruments such as the trumpet, oboe, bassoon, French horn and clarinet.

Sylvia was an expert in playing the piano, violin and organ. This may give you a clue as to the choice of music today. I really enjoyed going to church when Sylvia was playing the organ. At the end of the service I would go up to the organ loft and turn the pages and pull out the organ stops for her. I particularly enjoyed the rousing and moving toccata and fugue by Bach.

Sylvia was quite persuasive. She managed to persuade our parents to have a large grand piano in our small front room. It took up most of the space and required the removal of a window to get it in!

Sylvia accomplished so much. She was meticulous in her preparation, delivery and record-keeping of all things. She did not give up. She impressed me with her ability to turn a vision into reality. She knew what had to happen; she worked out how to make it happen; and then made it happen. This often involved making difficult decisions.

Big decisions included leaving her music teaching job and home in Gillingham to satisfy the call she felt to be a missionary teacher in Kenya, and to study to become a Baptist minister. When she was back and settled in Gillingham and assisting the minister at Gillingham Baptist Church, she felt called again and so sold her house and moved to Reading.

I’m really proud of my big sister, Sylvia, for being such a great teacher and achieving so much. I never really told her – except recently when she was asleep and so that probably does not count. I was secretly very impressed when the Times reported that Sylvia had received some of the greatest praise for her preaching in a new book, The Pulpit.

Perhaps, she is looking down on us now – I rather hope she is as if she’s not, there’s probably not much hope for the rest of us.

Sylvia had a positive impact on most people she met, and left the world a better place. I for one feel she made me a better person, and for that I am so grateful. I miss her greatly, much more than I ever thought I would.

As I sat with her at the end in Austen House I would read her bible and wonder at the markings she had made within it. I will now never know what they meant to her. Psalm 121 was obviously very important to her, as apart from all the colourful underlining, two dates had been inserted into the margins. So I feel it appropriate to end with the first two verses of that Psalm:

“I lift mine eyes to the hills –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of Heaven and Earth.”